The Paper Chase

Technology is nice. But there's just something about a datebook or calendar that keeps a few of us grounded to the stuff that matters.

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Now that we’re well into the new year, I’m well into writing in the paper calendar that I’ll be using until next January. Yes, you read that right—a paper calendar. Yes, I have a smartphone and yes, I know how to use the digital calendar that comes with it. In fact, I’m well versed in technology, thank you very much.

But everyone has their holiday traditions. And for me, every December, it’s purchasing a new wall calendar and, after the new year arrives, updating it month by month. I love getting my new calendar, peeling off its cellophane wrapper and pulling out the square piece of cardboard in the middle. It’s a personal process that takes place on my kitchen table. I am particular about my calendar as I have to look … // READ MORE

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Gods and (Little) Demons
No one wants their kid to be "the informant," but someone's gotta spread all that juicy gossip.

One day during her second grade year, my daughter came home from school with her first big assignment: to write a report on an ancient Egyptian god. For my child’s subject, the teacher chose Nephthys, a goddess who had two distinct but eerily similar jobs: to supervise the work of housewives, and to lead folks into the underworld.

But hold on. Nephthys was also famous for killing her infertile husband, disguising herself as her sister, then getting her brother-in-law sloshed and seducing him into impregnating her. A nice role model, that Nephthys. She makes wearing a vile of blood around one’s neck or stepping out of a limousine without panties look like the work of Mother Theresa. Anyway, can you imagine me trying to answer my second grader’s questions—“What’s getting drunk, Mommy?” or “Why did she kill him?” //READ MORE

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