May 14, 2013
When it comes to love, sex, marriage and motherhood, French women say relax. And we Americans should listen, according to Debra Ollivier’s bestseller What French Women Know, a witty examination of the French feminine mystique. For generations, the world has known that French ladies are sophisticated and confident, sassy and sensual, and can rock a bustier like nobody’s business. But what we may not have noticed, says Ollivier, is that their views on relationships are in some ways strikingly different from American women’s, so much so that French females are able to enjoy life exponentially more than we are. Surprise,… Read More »
January 20, 2013
When it comes to love, it seems many people are confused. At least that is what I’m starting to think, because over the course of the past few months, I’ve had around a dozen conversations with friends and acquaintances—whether they’re married or single, gay or straight, old or young—who suspect they are dating the wrong person, married to the wrong person, or coveting the wrong person. Or sometimes the problem is that they’re with a person at all, when they just want to be alone, or snuggling up to their pet chihuahua watching Revenge. Of course, the reason the person… Read More »
November 14, 2012
There’s a great standup bit, by the comedian Louis CK, about what it means to be a woman. He compares his ex-wife, who’s birthed his two daughters, to the self-centered, childless girls he sees standing in line at the comedy clubs, cracking gum and complaining that their feet hurt in high heels. These are not real women, he says. “You are not officially a woman…until a human being comes out of your body and ruins your life.” It’s a depressing take on motherhood, and I’m not sure yet if my kids have ruined my life. (We’ll see if they survive… Read More »
August 16, 2012
When a heterosexual man meets a woman for the first time, chances are he will, consciously or subconsciously, judge her approachability, her attractiveness, and her potential for a great romp in the sack. If he’s a sensitive, emotionally mature guy, he might also try to gauge whether she’d make a good wife or mother. But when a heterosexual woman meets another woman for the first time, she will judge her availability as a friend, her attractiveness as a friend, and her potential as a post-retirement roommate in a split-level ranch house in Miami. My closest pals don’t know that I’ve… Read More »
June 01, 2012
There is a new generation of young women taking the Big City by storm, and I want to take them in my arms, hug them, and tell them everything will be OK. But the problem is that I’m not so sure it will be. At least that’s the nagging feeling I have after watching the first few episodes of Judd Apatow’s new HBO comedy series Girls. The show, which has been lauded for its sharp dialog, fresh perspective and emotional rawness, is about a group of recent college grads trying to make it in New York. Think Carrie, Samantha, Miranda… Read More »
March 13, 2012
Kids say the most intriguing things. Like once, for no apparent reason, my son turned to me and said, “Caterpillars don’t turn into raccoons.” Really? I had no idea. And all this time I thought a caterpillar was responsible for Uncle Bob needing a rabies shot after a Fourth of July BBQ back in 1980. Another day, my two children and some of their friends were playing in the house with a children’s tool set. I was so busy chatting with their friend’s mother that I didn’t know the kids were, at that moment, using a miniature screwdriver to pluck… Read More »
December 10, 2011
I used to think those girls who complained of PMS symptoms were looking for attention. Cramps? You’re kidding. Mood swings? Yeah, right. Acne and migraines? Fahgettaboudit. And it used to tick me off when people made jokes about women being unable to serve high office, because they would do something rash “during that time of month.” As if a female president would order a nuclear missile attack just because she was on the rag. (Raiding the White House kitchen, hitting on a male intern, or sending the Secret Service on a midnight Haagen-Dazs run, however, I would not put past… Read More »
November 04, 2011
Ladies, I have news. I have fallen helplessly in love. The object of my affection is a 26-year old with great legs, who is sometimes low-key and occasionally high strung. During the past three months I’ve wanted to be at his side constantly, and he’s happily obliged. No, I haven’t fallen in love with an Ashton Kutcher lookalike, but rather with the used Baldwin upright that’s been sitting in my living room since August. I’m smitten. I actually fell for this piano decades ago, before I even had it in my possession. Since I was a little girl, I had… Read More »
September 17, 2011
Let me start off by apologizing to my mother-in-law for writing an entire entry about swear words. I promise, Elaine, this will be the one and only time Lady and a Red Typewriter will throw the F-bomb. I’ll admit that since moving to the West Coast I miss cursing a little bit. The Big Apple is the swearing capital of the world, and I think New Yorkers find it cathartic to spew profanity on the gritty streets of the ballsiest city in the world. Swearing is such a crucial part of New York culture, right up there with bagels and… Read More »
September 10, 2011
It seemed like a good idea at the time, to keep the kids home all summer, without any planned family vacations or summer camp. We had just moved into our fixer-upper and needed to save money. The kids weren’t particularly interested in any of the camp programs. So we rationalized that we’d all be better off staying home, doing renovation projects, letting the kids enjoy their first-ever backyard and their new playroom with their friends. Before you ask if we were experiencing an acid flashback, let me say that neither of us has done any acid (at least not that… Read More »
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