Your Life, Only More Beautiful

We're getting better, not older.

More Beautiful Podcast and Blog for women over 40.
Celebrate your beautiful midlife at the new More Beautiful, our sister publication and podcast.

Landmark birthdays—you know, the ones with a zero at the end—never bothered me. But for some reason, the year before a big one always hit me hard. Blowing out 19 candles signaled that I had just one year to enjoy the rest of my tenure as a carefree

teenager. Turning 29 meant the clock was ticking on my twentysomething status. And celebrating my 39th started the countdown to my induction into middle age. Don’t even get me started on 49, which was accompanied by a more intense version of the same foreboding: “This is it! The final year before all hell breaks loose!”

So far, all hell has not broken loose.

Instead, my twenties ended up being an exhilarating marathon of love, career and travel. My thirties were a joyous blur of childrearing and community building. And my forties were a decade of personal and spiritual growth. I’m a relative newbie in the 50-plus camp, but every day I’m more curious about the challenges, evolutions and epiphanies that lie ahead.

Looking back, I think the reason for my uncertainty about aging is that midlife is often depicted as a big ol’ dead end. In corporate America’s quest to sell expensive face creams, prescription meds and self-help books, we are constantly being told what we’re getting less of as time goes by: Less career opportunity. Less time with our kids before they grow up and leave us. Less sex drive. Less memory retention. Less muscle mass and collagen. And let’s not forget less estrogen! We’re regularly reminded how that elusive little hormone is plummeting faster than we can say HRT.

It’s enough to make you lock yourself in your anti-aging-cream-stocked bathroom and cry. Until you realize that buried under all this negative midlife hype is a muffled little message trying to break through to the surface—the news that in our 40s and 50s we actually have so much more, not less, of some significant stuff. And that we have so much more to offer the world.

For one thing, we have more experience—which gives us more perspective, clarity and insight. Hopefully, we have more focus on what matters in life, as well as more compassion for ourselves and others. We have more humility—we definitely have a surplus of that. Midlife is also accompanied by more meaningful relationships. More self awareness and confidence. More peace of mind. I would argue that for some women, this life stage also comes with more sex appeal, stamina, career growth and glow—c’mon, have you seen J.Lo lately? I know in my heart that more adventures, connections and illuminations lie ahead. In fact, ladies, I would argue that life can be more interesting and fulfilling than it’s ever been.

It can be more beautiful.

That’s not to say we don’t feel our age sometimes. Reading glasses suck. Crow’s feet are no fun. I’m not in denial or suggesting the struggle isn’t real—just ask my soaked sheets after an occasional night sweat. Like you, I want to know why it’s suddenly so challenging to keep the weight off, or have a glass of wine without waking up at 3 a.m. My girlfriends and I discuss these topics all the time. Almost every conversation touches on something involving our age, and it’s not all superficial (like who’s going to be the first to try a cosmetic procedure). Heavy issues like career uncertainty, health scares, empty-nest syndrome, midlife dilemmas, and aging parents are also top of mind. But no matter how real and fraught our discussions are, they always end with us laughing about how we’d rather be this age than 25. Or even 35.

I’m a person who likes to dig for answers. However, during my quest for age-related enlightenment I found that most women’s health and lifestyle resources clump all females into one huge demographic. But do those workouts and beauty regimes fare as well for us as the thirtysomething set? Is that career and financial advice relevant to someone who’s been in the workforce for more than two decades? Are we facing the same relationship challenges that we did when we were younger? No, no, and absolutely not. I wanted information specifically tailored to our age group, that was relevant to us right now. But it just wasn’t out there.

That’s what I want More Beautiful to be for you: an age-appropriate resource, sounding board and community all in one. Together, we’ll come up with strategies and solutions for both our serious and not-so-serious midlife issues. We’ll put everything into perspective—did I mention we now have more perspective? I promise, we’ll tackle even the hardest topics with lively discussion and a good dose of humor.

It may not always be fun getting older, but supported by a community of likeminded women it feels totally doable, even exhilarating. So c’mon, grab your Peepers and all the self-compassion you can muster. Together, we’re gonna do this thing.

xo Maryann

This story first appeared in More Beautiful, a new website and podcast geared toward women in their 40s and 50s. Please visit More Beautiful for more stories, more conversations, and more inspiration for smart, savvy women navigating midlife.

This is Not Your Mama’s Midlife

Women in their 40s and 50s are rewriting the middle-age playbook.

Photo collage by INGA LIM.

I remember the day, in late 2008, when I walked into a bookstore and saw Jennifer Anison on the cover of GQ. Yes, that cover. She was sitting on the floor, toned legs crossed, wearing nothing but a man’s tie around her neck. When I opened the magazine, I almost gasped when I read she was about to turn 40.

Growing up, this was not how most of us pictured a women over a certain age. When I was a kid, magazine covers rarely featured a model over 30 unless she was wearing a crown or standing next to her politician husband. My mother’s generation got even more screwed-up signals about their relevance and desirability. For instance, when Anne Bancroft played the middle-aged Mrs. Robinson in 1967’s The Graduate, the actress was only 35—because God forbid we saw the bare legs of a 45-year-old.

We didn’t know it back in 2008, but Aniston was just getting warmed up with her little aging-backward trick. These days, she continues to defy the laws of gravity, fitness and career trajectory. She showed us that, during this thing called midlife, you can wear anything you want (or nothing at all). That you don’t need kids or a life partner to be personally fulfilled. That you can be the leading lady in a rom-com, or the star of your self-produced TV series. And that you can grow your hair as long as you damn well please. I remain in awe.

But it’s not just Jen.

All you have to do is look at some of the celebrities who are now 40, 50 and older to see that aging isn’t what it used to be. Today’s midlife mamas are wearing bikinis at the beach (Salma Hayek), serving as global ambassadors for cosmetics companies (Cate Blanchette), reaching the pinnacle of physical fitness (Halle Berry), reaching new career heights (Viola Davis, Nicole Kidman and Sandra Oh), even running their own corporations which they eventually sell for $900 million(Reese Witherspoon). And then there’s Jennifer Lopez. In 2019, the year she reached her half-century birthday, we all watched in admiration as she produced, starred and pole-danced in Hustlers, embarked on a world tour, and secured a gig to perform at the Super Bowl the following year. Not bad for a 50-year-old. Still, many were delighted, prompting a popular meme comparing J.Lo to Rue McLanihan from Golden Girls.

At this point, we should probably stop being shocked at how energetic, driven—and, yes, smoking hot—women can be during midlife.

And let’s not give all the credit to celebs—who, let’s face it, have access to an entourage of trainers, stylists and nutritionists. Real-life women are also setting a new standard for what middle age looks like. I don’t believe anyone in my friend set plans to grow old anytime soon. Sure, there are some who have fantasized about quitting their 9-to-5 gig and retiring on a beach in Hawaii. But I can’t count the number of 40-plus women all around me whose aspirations are on fire. They are launching companies, going back to school, switching careers, moving to new cities, getting in the best shape of their lives, even getting married for the first time. And let’s not forget that one just became the first female vice presidentof the United States.

I’ve been considering why this current crop of midlife ladies looks and acts younger than the same group a generation or two ago. Are we working harder to stay more relevant, or did we stumble upon the fountain of youth? It is true that over the past couple of decades there have been huge advances in the beauty and health industries that make it easier for us to retain our youthful glow. We have more reliable information about what to eat and how to work out than our moms and grandmas did. (Remember how they were told oils were bad and margarine was good, and went to a ladies-only gym to burn off fat (ha!) with these vibrating belts?)

However, I believe a big reason many of us feel so healthy and powerful going into middle age is that there is inspiration all around us. As more females take the helm of media and entertainment companies, as they become entrepreneurs and political figures, we are seeing more diverse examples of how our lives can be at this age. These ladies are sitting in boardrooms, standing at the podium, and raising hell on Capitol Hill. Just check out any streaming service these days and you’ll see that actresses over 40 are no longer relegated to playing the frumpy mom or the “older lady” sidekick to a younger protagonist. Middle-aged women are the leading ladies, starring in their own adventures and raising hell as the rogue detective, persistent businesswoman or fierce lead prosecutor—roles once delegated to men or younger women. At the very least, they’re still learning things about themselves and trying to make changes, like the characters in Julie Delpy’s new series On the Verge.

Also keeping us energized is the fact that we are not conforming to the path society traditionally laid out for women. We were the first group to design our own timelines for having (or not having) children, going to college, starting careers, and finding a life partner. If you look at the 40- to 60-year-old demographic, it includes the youngest of the Boomers and the oldest of the Millennials, who have just entered their 40s; most of us are Gen Xers who fall somewhere in the middle. But any of us on that spectrum can be in the same life phase at any given time. For example, a 45-year-old woman can be just starting her family or sending a child off to college. She may be launching a business, going back to school, or thinking about retiring. We are designing a life on our own terms, just as men have always done.

Finally, I do think we are young at heart because we’ve lived through a lot—multiple recessions, 9/11, the housing market collapse and now a global pandemic—so we have experience overcoming setbacks. We also have a little PTSD, feeling like we’ve had to spend time catching up. But now, we are ready to go. We are acutely aware that we can’t take anything for granted, so we work hard to stay healthy, stay on top of our finances, and stay relevant in the world.

Bottom line, ladies, is that one knows what to make of us—don’t you love it? And the best part is, we don’t need to pose naked on a magazine cover to keep them guessing. We just have to keep doing what we’re doing, enjoying our lives and making plans for the next big thing. And definitely ignoring anyone who tells us to pack it in.

This story first appeared in More Beautiful, a new website and podcast geared toward women in their 40s and 50s. Please visit More Beautiful for more stories, more conversations, and more inspiration for smart, savvy women navigating midlife. 

Are You a Mindful Mother?

When you're having one of those days, try parenting the Buddhist way.

Buddhism for mothers

There are days when being a mom makes me feel like the luckiest woman in the world. I feel blessed to have two beautiful children who are thriving under my care, and the rewards seem endless. Other days…well, I don’t have to tell you about other days. Whether they involve temper tantrums, sleep deprivation or just the general chaos that often comes with parenthood, those are the days that try a woman’s soul.

Being a mother is a life-transforming event that can rock even the most even-keeled, self-assured female to the core. Suddenly you aren’t who you thought you were, and the rules that once governed your world are turned upside down by the demands of a tiny yet emotionally powerful little person. //READ MORE

10 Dirt-Cheap Ways to Celebrate Summer

Family time doesn't have to cost a fortune.

free summer stuff to do with kids

It’s summertime, and there are a million fun things you’d like to do with your kids while the days are warm and long. However, cash is not exactly falling from the sky, so a vacation or a trip to a pricey theme park aren’t good options. So how do you keep the fun going for two months without going broke?

The good news is children don’t care if an activity costs a lot of money or if it’s free, because all they really want is your undivided attention. So, here are 10 cheap ways to keep them busy—and you all bonding—during the next few weeks. //READ MORE

How Singing Lessons Can Change Your Life

One coach says it's never to late to reap the benefits of belting it out.

singing can change your life

When singer-songwriter Whitney Nichole isn’t composing music or performing in front of live audiences, you’ll find her in the San Francisco music studio she founded with her husband, photographer Niall David, doing one of her favorite things in the world: teaching students how to find their voice. Since launching her business, Songbird Studios, back in 2009, Nichole has not only released her first full-length album, 100 Strong, and performed her pop songs around the country. She’s also been getting singers both young and old excited in music and enjoying the exhilarating rewards of expressing themselves creatively.

Here, Nichole talks to Red Typewriter about the mood-boosting, brain-nurturing, confidence-building benefits of singing your heart out. //READ MORE

New Superfoods That Will Supercharge Your Life

Move over, almonds and acai, and make room in the cupboard for these nutritional rock stars.

new superfoods

The word “superfood” has become one of the most overused words in our culinary vocabulary. We’ve all read about the enormous health benefits that nutrient-packed goodies such as avocados, fish oil, flaxseed, acai berries and coconut oil can provide. But the truth is, there are many more powerhouse foods out there waiting to boost your health while adding flavor and variety to meals. Here are 10 superfoods you may not yet have heard of, but should definitely get to know.

the new superfoods

1. Spirulina. A member of the algae family and one of the hottest superfoods, spirulina is harvested from both the ocean and fresh water and is available in flake, tablet or powder form. Not only does spirulina contain the most concentrated source of protein known to man, but it also supplies a wide range of photonutrients, vitamins and trace minerals. It may help fight cell-damaging free radicals, curb hunger and increase stamina, as well as aid digestion by suppressing the overgrowth of bad bacteria. How to consume this deep green stuff? Just blend it into your favorite smoothie or salad dressing and reap the benefits.

 

 

the new superfoods

2. Dulse. An edible seaweed whose name rhymes with “pulse,” this superfood provides a wealth of protein and fiber and is rich in vitamins, trace minerals, healthy fatty acids and antioxidants. Resembling a leafy red lettuce, dulse grows wild on the northern Atlantic and Pacific coasts and is most readily available in dried leaves or flakes. With a slightly spicy, salty flavor, pulse leaves can be crumbled into soups, stews and casseroles, while the flakes may be sprinkled onto a variety of foods as a nutritious condiment.

 

 

the new superfoods

3. Nutritional Yeast. Affectionately called “notch” by vegans and others in the know, this gluten-free superfood is now being discovered by the rest of us. This inactive yeast is grown on a food source—some brands use sugar cane or beet molasses—then harvested, heated, dried and crumbled into flakes or powder. Found in the bulk or supplement section of most health food stores, nutritional yeast is chock full of B-vitamins and folic acid, and has a mild, nutty-cheesy flavor that makes it a great substitute for cheese in recipes. It can also be sprinkled over popcorn or salads, added to juice, cereal, smoothies, gravies, soups or casseroles, or used to make sandwich spreads.

 

 

new superfoods

4. Bee Pollen. One of the richest sources of complete protein in nature, bee pollen has been consumed by the Chinese for centuries. Packed with all the B vitamins (except B12), vitamins C and E, potent antioxidants and essential amino acids, it’s said to provide stress relief, improve digestion and stamina, and balance hormones while cleansing toxins from the body. Some claim bee pollen also fights acne and depression, and enhances fertility and libido. Always buy organic pollen from an environmentally healthy region and an ethical beekeeper. Start with a quarter-teaspoon a day, and avoid if you have a pollen or bee allergy.

 

 

superfoods_chlorella

5. Chlorella. One of the few edible species of water-grown algae, chlorella is a great source of protein and contains all the B vitamins, vitamins C and E, beta-carotene, amino acids, magnesium, iron, trace minerals and a unique set of phytonutrients. One of this superfood’s greatest health benefits is its ability to cleanse and alkalize the body, reducing inflammation and making it more difficult for diseases to thrive. Chlorella has also been used to relieve pain, reduce hypertension and enhance the immune system. Available in pill, powder or liquid form, chlorella may be added to smoothies and other recipes, or eaten (in pill form) as an on-the-go, high-protein snack.

 

 

superfoods_groats

6. Oat Groats. The most natural, unprocessed form of oats, oat groats are another high-nutrient plant food that packs a full spectrum of nutrition, including vitamin E, the B vitamins and minerals. Oat groats contain both soluble and insoluble fiber, making them quite filling, and don’t spike your blood sugar the way refined carbohydrates and sugars do. They’ve also been found to benefit heart health, lower blood pressure and possibly help prevent diabetes as part of a high whole-grain diet. If you can’t find them in your local store, a good substitute is steel-cut oats, also called Irish oatmeal, which are the groats cut into pieces with a steel cutter.

 

 

 

the new superfoods

7. Hemp Seeds. This super seed possesses one of nature’s most concentrated plant sources of essential fatty acids (even greater than the mighty flaxseed) and supplies a rich source of easily assimilated amino. It’s loaded with phytonutrients to nourish healthy blood, tissues, cells and organs and provides a rich array of protein and minerals, including zinc, calcium, magnesium and iron. Hemp seeds may help you support a healthy metabolism and fat-burning functions and reduce inflammation. Because they don’t contain phytic acid, they won’t cause bloating when ground into smoothies, sprinkled on salads, or incorporated into other recipes.

 

 

the new superfoods

8. Raw Organic Honey. More opaque and dense—and significantly healthier—than the processed variety that often comes in a cute teddy bear jar, raw honey boasts antibacterial properties that make it an effective topical remedy for sore throats, burns and other wounds. Containing both hydrogen peroxide and phenolic acids, this unpasteurized version is a natural infection-fighter and antioxidant that, when taken orally, may also increase immunity and fight the buildup of “bad” cholesterol. Because it still contains pollen, raw honey also been used to prevent allergy flare-ups. Note that honey should never be given to children under age 2, and that you should consult your doctor before using it to treat allergies or infection. And always purchase an organic variety from a local, ethical beekeeper.

 

 

 

the new superfoods

9. Turmeric. Best known as one of the ingredients in curry, turmeric has a warm, peppery flavor and a deep yellow-orange color. Traditionally called “Indian saffron,” this spice comes from the root of the curcuma longa plant and has been used throughout history as a condiment, healing remedy and textile dye. Touted for its anti-inflammatory and possible cancer-preventing properties, turmeric tastes delicious added to many different recipes, including sautéed apples, steamed cauliflower or green beans and onions. Or, add some turmeric and dried onion to creamy yogurt for a flavor-rich, low-calorie dip.

 

 

 

the new superfoods

10. Raw Apple Cider Vinegar. Long used as a natural health remedy, raw apple cider vinegar is a strong digestive aid that has antiviral, antibacterial and anti-fungal properties and helps promote the growth of probiotics, the beneficial bacteria in your system. This unique vinegar contains potassium and other trace minerals and elements, and has been used for centuries as a natural health tonic and weight-loss aid. Select a version that’s labeled “raw” and “unfiltered” and include in salad dressings, use instead of cooking wine to brighten dishes, or dilute 1 tablespoon in a glass of water to drink before meals.